by Hunter Schwarz
Two members of Congress ate illegal food Friday and got away with it.
Reps. Jared Polis (D-Colo.) and Thomas Massie (R-Ky.) ate their meal Friday at Jezebel’s, a Denver restaurant. The reason they aren’t under criminal investigation, though? Because they were in Colorado, and while the dishes they ate are against the law to buy, they brought the food themselves.
Their meal of “forbidden and restricted foods,” as Polis called it, was to bring attention to federal rules they hope to change that limit how food can be sold.
Here’s what they ate:
Hemp cannot be grown or sold in the U.S., except in certain states, and only then with a permit, because it’s a controlled substance according to federal law. The scones cannot get you high.
Beef can only be sold if it came from cows processed through USDA-approved facilities, or if it’s sold as a full, half, or quarter cow. It cannot be sold by the individual steak. Massie brought the steak from cows on his farm.
Just like beef, eggs have to be inspected, too. These eggs came from Polis’ sister’s boyfriend’s backyard chicken coop.
Kombucha can ferment and be over .5 percent alcohol, so it could technically be sold under liquor laws. But even though fermented kombucha is disgusting and no one would want it, it would take about eight fermented kombuchas to equal one beer.
Raw milk is illegal to transport across state lines and illegal to sell in some states. Sounds sinister.